I think it's about time to get blogging again.
Have you ever noticed that many times people don't have a valid reason to be exhibiting an emotion? Instead, the emotion appears in response to the emotion of another. For example, a fight breaks out. One person starts out the fight genuinely angry. Another person joins into the fight, not because he or she is mad, but because they are responding to the anger of the first person.
I have a theory that an awful lot of relationships begin this way. Certainly, it is necessary to dance the dance as discussed in all of my various HTGBWETs, but I think that may be only half of the equation.
The other half has almost universally to do w/ guys. Perhaps it is a function of our culture, perhaps not, but guys are supposed to be the initiators of relationships. They are supposed to step up each level. They are the ones who are supposed to break the ice, ask for a date, move in for the kiss, suggest sex, make the proposal, etc.
Which means, assuming my theory holds, that the emotions of women are not always formed from rational decision making, but from a simple response to the emotions of men (which themselves are not rational, but probably based upon various glands that demand more and more sex).
Maybe this isn't the case in every relationship, but I'll be it isn't uncommon. I think the idea first struck me when I overheard a girl talking about the experience of either a first kiss or a marriage proposal (I can't remember which). Basically, she said that, until the moment, she didn't know what she would have done, but she was probably leaning towards saying no. But then, in that moment, all unexpectedly, she decides yes.
If my theory is true, I hate to think what that means for virtually all romantic relationships.
Here's another piece of evidence that provides at least marginal support for my theory. When are we most likely to respond to the emotions of others? Ans: When we are drunk and/or tired.
HELLO BARS!!!
HTGBWET #75: Do what you need to do. Dance the dance if it is at all necessary. Get a member of the opposite sex interested, then get them tipsy. THEN lean in for a kiss. I think you won't find a negative response.
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2 comments:
It's an interesting theory, Nate. I wasn't planning on going out with Dean until the moment he asked me and then I just said yes. Of course I wasn't drunk...I was tired though because it was at the end of a track meet, but I don't know if that counts. But given that women are typically the emotional ones, wouldn't the man be the one to play off the women's emotions rather than the other way around?
I enjoy the theory but think it may be a bit more complex than you describe. And also... I think the reflecting of an emotion on a woman's part shows that she hasn't hit a certain maturity level yet. For example... in college (early college especially), if a guy showed interest, I was probably 85% likely to decide that I too liked him. But as I grew up a little, I realized it took a WHOLE lot more than him liking me for me to reciprocate.
Just my two cents. Are you back in E. KS already?
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