Also, I only got like 3 and 1/2 hours of sleep last night, so I'm really coping with an awful lot of suck right now.
As such, I feel like it's about time for a new HTGBWET! Today's lesson (#845): Looking Relaxed.
Not a day goes by that another person doesn't say, "Wow, NJ, you certainly look relaxed!"
To this I usually reply in some non-committal way. Being a relaxed fellow, I don't feel the need to get all up on myself.
All that said, even I lack the true relaxed skills of a relaxed master of relaxation. That being said, for all my lack of skill, I have rested upon the slight hill; I have tamed the mighty tired, old dog; I have done what few men dream of doing, because they aren't that interested. And so I figured I'd relay my knowledge.
The trick to being truly relaxed - and using that relaxation in your dealings with the opposite sex - is to convince members of the opposite sex that you COULD be on the ball and, in fact, even are on the ball when it's really necessary, but for now you are content to just play it cool.
This means, of course, that you must be a physical representation of the impossible. You have to look both incredibly involved and incredibly bored AT THE SAME TIME!
How do I do this, you ask? Consider Matthew Mcconehey..... Um, or however you pronounce his name. McConnehy? Hang on....
Ok. It's McConaughey. Seriously, someone needs to tell that guy that he's never gonna make it with a name like that.
Anyway. He is a guy who is extremely physically fit. He is a guy who LOOKS like he must work out all the time and be constantly on the move, yet his eyes are always half-lidded and he talks... real... slow. Lahk... this.
The point is, he's managed the impossible. He's a guy who looks more relaxed than anyone I've ever seen (save one), yet, at the same time, he looks ready to go!
(Specially relaxed status goes to Owen Wilson. Even more than McConaughey, he is painfully relaxed; he just happens to look less ready to go.)
My point is this: there is something about the ridiculous contrast of these two things that attracts members of the opposite sex in prodigious quantities. My theory is that it has something to do w/ evolution. Back when we were all the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt-sex with a fish-squirrel, it was handy to be relaxed and yet totally awesome.
It may also have to do with ninjas, now that I think about it, but I could be wrong.
What was I saying? Oh yeah, so here is your new assignment, should you choose to accept it. Spend the next year or so getting totally in shape. Then work your ass off to get an awesome job and millions of dollars. Finally, make your eyes look heavy, always put your feet up when you sit down, and talk slow. You'll be well on your way to getting at least one or two total babes.
4 comments:
You didn't have any comments yet so I thought that I would leave one for you. So, with that HI Fe!
Yay! How's it going, Audrie? What's the news in your neck of the woods?
Its going...not extremely exciting to some I watch the little one, clean, take the dog outside, and pick up after the big one. Can't complain too much about it because I love being home with Lily all day. News-wise the only thing I can think of is that we might be moving back to KS by the end of the summer. It is all still up in the air as nothing in military life is set until it actually happens but very highly possible just the same. We'll have to get together or something when we're all in the same state again. Random question, do you like board games?
I love the picture Fe! How's law school?
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