Winning is for losers

So about that thing. Actually, about this other thing. I went to the first meeting of the International Law Society last thursday, curious to know what that was all about. After a bit of discussion concerning Moot Court (more on that later), the ILS people talked about the organization and its history. They mentioned all the neat things they did, like all the time they spent working for international law firms in Argentina, where the women are like flowers and the flowers are like salsa dancers.

Yadda yadda yadda. Bunch of nifty crap.

Then they pointed out that they were only 3. That's right. The officers included two co-presidents and a treasurer, but they lacked a secretary! Oh no!

Luckily for everyone involved, they had discussed amongst themselves for many long nights the proper way to dissolve the organization, when one brilliant soul suggested that they simply elect a secretary, you know, from among the 1Ls.

Somehow, the whole thing seemed staged.

Anyway, they asked for volunteers, and I raised my hands, figuring it to be a nice way to get involved and start the resume fodder, all at once. Little did I know that I was about to face the worlds number one ringer for international law society secretary positions.

The friendly co-pres noted my raised hand and said, "OK. Anybody else?"

pause.... pause... pause...

Wait. There. A hand in the back.

"Oh good," said the co-pres. "How 'bout both of you give a short speech, explaining why you would make a good secretary for ILS." The pres gestures at me to begin.

It is at this point that I think two things. First, "Huh?" Second, "Wait a sec. Let's revisit that other raised hand."

I looked to see who had volunteered and the blood froze in my veins (or something like that). I was up against a girl (diversity) who was clearly of foreign dissent (diversity) who was wearing some sort of Arab headcovering (DIVERSITY!!!).

Oh, I thought. Interesting.

Back to the subject at hand. "Um, well, I'm glad I've had so much time to think and prepare before giving this speech," I say, to lighten the suddenly congested room. I may have heard a nervous chuckle. That nervous chuckle may have come from my own throat. Time to move on.

"Well," I say, "As you said when describing the position, the secretary's job is to help organize and schedule and keep track of events..." Oh Crap! I am infamously bad at doing all of those things! Quick! Tiptoe around the issue!

"Well, ever since I began college I've enjoyed doing all of that. I'm a big believer in getting everyone together and promoting..." blah blah blah! Nathan, you're losing them! How can you be losing them, when you never had them to begin with? Oh my God!

Imagine the lamest conclusion you've ever heard. Now assume it's about the international law society and we'll call that my finale.

"Alright," said the other co-president. "And now if you'd like to talk?" He gestured at the woman who had raised her hand (who was also attractive, upon second glance).

"Yes," says she, "I feel I should be part of the international law society, because I am an international student" - ouch - "who plans on making ILS the majority of my extracurricular activity." - double ouch - "I feel qualified for the position as I spent all four years of my undergraduate years as president of the international student organization" - holy crap ouch! - "and I really believe that I can help all of the students better reach their goals to join the international organization."

Crap. So who do I vote for? Her or myself? WAit! What are you thinking? You are a freaking nominee!

Yeah, but she makes such a strong argument!

Needless to say, I lost the vote. Also, I am not going to be part of any law school committee, nor will I be a part of traffic court, because I spent so much time at ILS that I missed the traffic court meeting. And, just to round out matters, I lost all of my racquetball games last week.

And that was just thursday!