More internet quotes

Alrighty, so it's time for another edition of "stupid quotes from the internet." This marks the second edition of this feature, and I think we should all give a little salute in honor of it.

Um. Anyway, on to the ridiculousness.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot...who calls you back when you hang up on him, will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead...who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats...who holds your hand in front of his friends...who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup...one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you...the one who turns to his friends and says "that's her."

As far as I can tell, this is actually a really great description of of a man who honestly does love a girl.

Of course, that man is the girl's father.

....

Read it again. It makes WAY more sense than any other male.

....

Did you read it again? Good. Now, to be fair, this isn't nearly as bad as the last one. I mean, I suppose a boyfriend could probably fall under all these categories, but WAKE UP. These are all things that every single guy on earth knows. They are classic, nearly trademarked examples of things guys say to get their lady friends into bed.

Classic Guy: No honey, I really think you look beautiful, maybe even more now that you aren't wearing any make-up. You look so wonderful and natural.

Classic Girl (thinking): He loves me!

Classic Guy (thinking): SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX.


Get it? These are all obvious examples of "ways" to see if the guy you are interested in is "safe," and they are all stupid for being so obvious. Here's how you know a guy is safe.

He argues with you, because he feels comfortable around you. He gives you a high-five when you've really accomplished something. He listens to you complain about life, but either doesn't offer very much support, or tries to "fix it."

I know, these things lack any sort of romance, but what are you honestly looking for? Romance, a relationship, or sex?

Because that list has everything to do with the first and the last, and nothing to do with the second.

Edit (6/27 11:26PM): Lisa asked the following in the comments section....

Lisa: so does that mean that relationship and romance don't go together?

to which I replied....

Pretty much.

Just kidding...

You know, it's an interesting question. I think to make that assumption, you'd also have to say that sex and relationships don't go together, which is clearly wrong.

No. I would say that romance, sex, and relationships are three independent but interconnected things. This means that we can interact with any one, without necessarily meaning to interact with the other two. However, being the creatures we are, we tend to assume that, because they are all connected, interacting on one level includes interacting on one or both of the other levels.

Thus, in this example, men are using Romance to interact with Sex, while women are making the assumption that the Romance involved is meant to interact with Relationship.

One could arguably make the claim that not all men use Romance to lead to Sex and that not all women assume Romance is meant for a Relationship, but I think those cases are rare and/or limited to married or older couples.

Wait. Check that. I think men who aren't at least a little bit trying for sex using Romance are rare. I don't know where I stand on women assuming romance is a relationship builder. In fact, I think it's very likely that there are a great deal of women who are just as much horn-dogs as any men out there.

The only difference is that being "slutty" is considered immoral for women in modern America, so it is necessary to hide behind pretty ideas.

But who can say?