Monday, May 01, 2006

Beta and the V-train

Hallo Leute!

It's been over a half week since my last post. I don't know if anyone noticed that, but I do heartily apologize. Starting on Thursday I had to house sit for my aunt, and it sort of precluded any excellent post writing, then on saturday I went apt. hunting in the lawrence/kc area.

All that said, I'm back! That's right. Welcome to HTGBWET 2.0.14.04212.63 BETA! Yes, it's been a long time in coming, but HTGBWET has been needing a new influx of talent and wisdom, and the only person I know with newer talent and wisdom than me is....

ME AGAIN!

Which means, of course, if you are actually keeping score, that virtually nothing has changed. Maybe next time.

However, I do have a bit of good news for at least one person out there. K-tastic, I did not fall off the V-train this week, which means, unless something very unexpected happens, you shall pass me in our little race.

You should know, though, that it looked like I could have. I met a REALLY freaky chick at the bars who was gonna go home with this couple and have a 3-way (swear to God. The two chicks were making out hard core. It was nifty). Anyway, she was gonna do that, but she offered me a ride home and, based upon a simple count of ass-grabbin', I'm pretty sure that things would have proceded in a very interesting direction.

However, the couple did not want her to take me home, and I eventually relented. I may have come to the conclusion that a nameless one-night stand might not be the best way to fall off the v-train. I guess there's something to be said for having a pre-existing relationship, before getting down to any hardcore boning.

Weird stuff.

For all of you other reads though, you need to take this as a lesson.

HTGBWET Tip #84: Lose your virginity early, so you don't have to worry about facing moral dilemmas later. It's very difficult to get babes when you are saying no to them.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I personally am quite glad you didn't go off any train with random chick...Dean calls me a c*@k blocker but I just think you should at least like someone first. Plus, wouldn't it just be akward if you didn't know them not to mention the germ thing...don't even get me started on stranger germs...

Anonymous said...

I forgot to add the seriousness of my stranger germ obsession...I would chew your gum straight from your mouth but the thought of kissing someone I met in a bar gives me icky goosebumps and makes my face turn into the disgusted expression like you just ate something that someone told you had been on the bathroom floor

Anonymous said...

nah, it doesn't really make the moral dilemma any better with strangers. pretty much the same rules seem to apply, though they come out in different forms.

Joel said...

Me: Uh, it looks like your friend really doesn't want you to drive us home. It's ok. We'll make it.

Her Friend: Yeah. Come on. Please come home with us.

Freaky girl: Don't worry. I'll drop these guys off and I promise I'll come home and fuck the shit out of you and your husband.

Me: (THUD - my jaw. BOOOINNNNNNGGGGG - my ... nevermind)

Freak/Friend: Yeah. It's true. (Insert 5 minutes freak making out with semi attractive friend here)

Kathleen said...

I would definitely agree with the tip! I know this is probably going to freak you out Kristi, but a guy who is a virgin and a girl who is a virgin are two different things. A guy who's a virgin can totally suck when you've had sex and he hasn't, and that can ruin an experience. Or, make it really nice, if you're into deflowering male virgins. I suppose it's all due to your perspective.

v said...

There needs to be a different term for males... deflowering just doesn't fit....

KU Mommy said...

" I know this is probably going to freak you out Kristi, but a guy who is a virgin..."

It actually doesn't freak me out in the slightest bit. The reasons have mostly to do with God's intention for sex and the beauty that comes with it inside the parameters it was intended for... but that's a whole topic that would take days to delve into, and I'm sure Nate would say my blog is a better place for that than his. :)

If you want a summation read "Good News about Sex and Marriage" by Christopher West.

Bishniak said...

Being a serial monogomist, I've never had the "one night stand" gene within me. Always thought about it, Damn near did it a couple times too, but I think i would have regretted it so.

Plus, your first time with a girl that apparently's been around the block (with everyone ON that block) could have made some major stagefright.

Anonymous said...

Just had to share that the 'deflowering' amuses me in reference to all men, however I think for some guys that word does fit.

Kathleen said...

Well, basically I was referring to awkwardness...if you're both awkward (two virgins) than I don't think it really applies, but if it's a guy/girl that isn't and the other is...awkward. And I guess what I meant Kristi is that you have very rigid guidelines for who to have sex with - I mean, for you it's only marriage, ever, so I didn't really want to get you all angry.

Anonymous said...

I just don't understand why sex can only be beautiful and amazing and soul-connecting if you're married...why can't it be that way with someone you love. What's the difference? It doesn't make it less special because you don't have rings or a license. Hmm, it just occurred to me, a license to have sex...now that's an interesting concept. You have to have a license to practice medicine or drive or get married. Maybe you should have to apply for a license to have sex. That'd cut back on diseases and pregnant teenagers. Of course we'd have to develop a list of requirements that the individual would have to pass...this needs further consideration.

Anonymous said...

Requirements:
1) Age: 18 (no more jailbait problems.

Anonymous said...

2) IQ of 90 or above...if you're going to accidentally get knocked up you should have average intelligent babies. The intelligent rule would obviously not count if you were married-this is only for single people
3) Completion of education program and a score of 80% or above on the final exam. The program would involve safe sex, consequences-physical and emotional, etc. It's like driver's ed
4) Of course it goes without saying that you can only have sex with people who also have a license. Unlicensed sexual partners would be grounds for your own license being taken away, a hefty fine, and possible jail time. However, you can do non-intercourse acts with unlicensed parties. This includes most foreplay up to oral sex (yes, it counts as sex).

Nathan said...

My blog is open to delving into any form of discussion, though naturally there are probably better places for such things, if you want them highlighted.

On topic though, it's nice to see that so many people have opinions about all this. Shocking, almost. Opinions about sex? No one has those!

Joel said...

This conversation got really boring once we stopped talking about the skank lesbian.