My first comment comes from Erin in Wichita. She says:
But think of the nice things she might do for YOU if you do those things for her!
To which I must reply:
Right right, but my major point here is that I'm giving up on trying to reach a point where any of this matters. If I were in a relationship, all of this would probably be very handy, if not totally obvious, but I'm not and have decided that I'm tired of wasting so many of my resources trying to be in one.
Joel is fond of saying that it's all about confidence. Others have suggested that it's all about social classes.
Both could be correct. My guess is that confidence defines social class, at least to an extent. You are who you think you are, at least to others.
And I guess that's where my problem lies. I think I am a fat guy who isn't socially apt, who doesn't understand most interpersonal social interaction, who can't hear or otherwise interact in noisy environments, and who is generally intimidated by the very women I am most attracted to.
Now I'm able to overcome pieces of this puzzle, but I can't detangle the whole skein at one time. As such, I've decided, finally, after about 14 years of trying, to just give up.
I think this generally sounds like a good idea. It's hard to be intimidated when you aren't worried about failure. If I'm not trying to get with a particular woman, I'm much better at being loose and fun in almost all social situations.
There is a chance that the first few times I attempt any of this I'll be met by extreme failure. Old grooves die hard. I just think that eventually I'll be much happier and productive.
And, once again, this doesn't mean I'll be turning any relationships down. It just means that I won't go through the rigamarole of wishing I had one and actually trying to get one using that stupid list.
Our second letter comes from Joel in KCK, who is currently using a Dell Latitude:
It'd be funny if it wasn't advice for a relationship. Slow dance with her even if there isn't any music playing, the tree carving or the throwing of the pebbles, how quickly you think that shit would get someone arrested if it wasn't in a relationship?
To which I reply:
That's why people need to join myspace. I thought the list was so ridiculous that I posted it for my friends as one of those forward-type things. Everyone who reads it is supposed to add another item that SOUNDS awesome but does not actually work (and might even be creepy).
8 comments:
Hmm... your last two posts remind me very very much of two of my very close friends who are always saying basically the same things. They're both ready for that click to happen with someone... and yet it just doesn't seem to happen.
But... as I tell them... maybe it's not time yet. Like, for you, if you found some awesome possom woman here in Ta-Town, what would happen in a month or two when you leave for Lawrence?
And don't tell me that you're just looking for a fling.. cuz that's not you and I"m pretty sure it never has been. When it happens for you, it's gonna be awesome and it's going to be permanent or at least semi-permanent. So it has to happen in the right timing.
Luckily for you, I live with my mom, making a fling extraordinarily difficult.
And I must reiterate my point. I've been ready for that click to happen for approximately a hundred million years. I've given up on the click. Now I'm working on not giving a crap.
hmm . . . I find it ironic that you are attempting to "get babes without even trying" and not getting any babes but have just now stopped trying.
could be something to do with calling us "babes"
I feel like Ross on friends with the whole "quote" thing so I'm gonna stop.
but the list says you should call her baby (yes - no quotes - very hard for this English teacher to do).
I think it's when you don't give a crap that stuff actually happens. but if you're looking for an old-fashioned girl who's awaiting that crush to call her - when will you end up with anyone?
that's more depressing than I thought it was going to be so we'll pretend you are looking for that quote on quote uptown girl who will call you!:)
Sorry. This is my least attractive trait, but I just gotta do it. It's "quote-unquote."
Now then, as the owner of this blog, it should be obvious that I am not attempting to get babes. I am attempting to help teach OTHERS how to get babes without even trying. Luckily, the whole thing is one big tongue-in-cheek joke, as I am one of the least qualified people in the history of the world to give babe-getting advice.
Now about that old-fashioned girl: don't worry. I am DEFINITELY not looking for the old-fashioned girl who is waiting for me to call her. Partly because it goes against my new fangled decision, and partly because I was raised by a hippy mom. She would be very angry if she found out I was holding the door open for women simply because they were women. I would never be angry about that, but I certainly don't see the point. My ideal woman would probably beat me at soccer. I can't think of any reason why she would need the door held open for her.
Etc., etc.
Wow... does anyone else get really curious when someone deletes a post at 12:44am. INquiring minds want to know.
I know I am curious. And, I like to think of myself as one of those girls who could beat you at soccer (If I played soccer and could actually run and kick at the same time, which I doubt I can do)- you get my point...independent and what-not. But, and I don't know about the girls here, I LIKE it when a guy does stuff like open the door for me, etc. I think it shows respect, at least in some cases (obviously, if the guy is a neanderthal and thinks women really can't open the door herself than you have a bigger problem)But, well, I like it. Maybe it's cause guys don't seem to do it that much anymore. Or at least, a few of the guys I've dated..only 2 so far, have done stuff like open the car door, or theatre door, for me, etc. It's just nice.
Um. Can't help you there, Katie. Being a backwards child, I see it all as a sign of disrespect, unless both parties are trading off on things like that.
Like, I think my ultimate relationship would start with both the man and the woman holding the door open for the other, and then both trying to pay the check for the night.
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