My name is Wilt Dean Allen Naismith

Recently, on a KU message board, I came across the following post, explaining why a poster thought that Aaron Miles was the 3rd worst point guard in KU history.

i personally have played against miles, hienrich, my boy is adonis jordon we hung out in la, and in vegas,,and played,,I also played with vaughn...and calvin rayford....when I first came to ku cedric hunter was the guard....Yes I am 38 now old and miles was very young compared to me...but he didnt do anything offensively....Miles suckered a lot of ku fans into thinking he was good, but they never looked at his performance objectively they only look at it with dumb and ignorant biases favoring Ku....this team would have beaten last years team...miles was the 3rd worst that i have seen..Miels was not better than vaughn, henirich, jordan, walters...hunter...rayford..hmmmmmm miles 3rd worst guard in ku history

I felt obliged to agree with this fellow (by the name of wpinkard) and so wrote the following reply...

I played against Wilt Chamberlain, coached against Phog Allen, and invented basketball before James Naismith.

In my vaunted opinion Wpinkard is absolutely correct. I personally taught Aaron Miles how to shoot the basketball (or "leather peach" as I like to call it) while spending a few years basking in the Oregonian rain (This was after I moved north, because I got tired of teaching John Wooden the fundamentals of basketball), and I can say, without a doubt, that he COULD NOT SCORE at the age of 2. I would pass him the ball, and instead of catching it and shooting (using the backboard, as I originally suggested), he would just fall over and start bleeding and crying.

Stupid baby!

In disgust I told him that his behavior was unacceptable, and that from now on, whenever he got the ball, he should just pass it to someone who was willing to shoot.

Of course, in basketball the only thing that matters is how many points you score (see Kobe Bryant), which means that stupid baby Aaron was absolutely terrible.

A few years later I found that that stupid baby had taken my words to heart, so, feeling sorry for him, I advised Roy Williams to use a pitty scholarship on him. He usually does what I say, since he does what Dean Smith says, and Dean Smith and I used to take Sunday brunch together while making fun of Adolph Rupp and the entire city of Halstead, making us practically brothers.

Naturally, while at KU, Miles kept doing exactly what I told him to do (they always do), and he never excelled at anything except giving the ball to other people so they could score (worthless).

And so here we are today with wpinkard as effortlessly brilliant as he can be and with a great group of young players, all probably molded after my self-image. Except Micah Downs who I told to go back to Washington because Adam Morrison asked me to, and I dig the Morrison mustache.

If you are a KU fan (or a reasonably well read college basketball fan), you should get the majority of my jokes. If not, don't worry. I'm sure I'll write something else later.