Alright, so I have a new plan. I've decided that in 3 years I need to have outstanding abs. I've never done the outstanding ab thing before, so this goal may be a bit difficult to attain, but I have high hopes. Over the past few days, my plan was simple, wake up, roll out of bed, do some ab work. Unfortunately, there are problems with this plan.
Me: AH! Good morning (or possibly afternoon) world! What a great day to be alive! I think I'm gonna roll out of bed now and do some cruches and other things!
(I roll out of bed)
Me: Holy crap! I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to go to the bathroom!
(3 hours later, after I've done a whole bunch of other things)
Me: Holy double crap, batman! I forgot to do my ab workout! Oh well, my plan is only to do it when I wake up, so I guess I'll just have to wait until tomorrow.
Now, you may see the problem with this intended pattern of mine, but if not, let me explain. It's hard to crunch when you need to piss.
Some have complemented me on my ability to write suave and thoughtful prose. I would like to take this moment to thank them for their kind words.
So now I need a knew plan. I would like to do an ab workout, but I don't want to do it after visiting the bathroom and taking a shower. What do I do? I could do it at night, but is that really the most effective time? I'm tired and lazy at night. Plus, I'm so busy boning hundreds of beautiful brazilian women in the evenings that doing an ab workout afterward seems really unlikely, even if I spent the whole time on the bottom.
I suppose one possibility is bathroom -> ab workout -> shower -> bang 3 chicks all named Cynthia -> breakfast; I'm just worried I'd get too hungry to make it past all 3 Cynthias, and you don't want an angry, unfulfilled Cynthia on your hand. That can be dangerous. How else do you think I got that scar under my right nipple.
Wait. Wrong Nathan. Wrong event. AWESOME story!
Thoughts?
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4 comments:
I think if you're boning that many women, you are already getting an ab workout. Unless you're a lazy bum making them all be on top.
Personally, I think it's always a good idea to grab ahold of some motivation and change aspects of your life that you want to change. On the other hand, don't change b/c you think it's what other people want. I like your abs the way they are, as evidenced by the amazing number of times we have sex.
Oh, also, women don't want this perfect, smooth talking Hitch type man...women want someone real (regardless of what we may say or do to the contrary). Imperfections can be quite attractive (until you've been married for 10 years in which case they really grate on your nerves).
Sara has caught me. I am indeed a lazy bum. (Also, I may have been caught in one too many acts of hyperbole and out right lying.)
And as for women want... I'm gonna go ahead and not care. Trying to fulfill desires (regardless of whether they are for perfections or imperfections) will never get you where you are going. The only solution remains having sex after getting drunk at a party.
Naturally, I am not speaking of relationships that developed during high school. This is only how mature, single adults get together.
Finally, I've decided my new plan is to do my ab workout in the evening. In the morning maybe I can do some sort of aerobic workout.
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