Some history

At my friend Sara's blog, I was asked to post something completely fiction about myself and her, then repost it in my blog. As such, I offer the following. Enjoy.

You know, when I think back to all the good times we didn't have, I'm hard pressed to come up with the best one. Also, it's frustrating because we really did do an awful lot of CRAZY things.

For example.

Remember that time we drove from Oklahoma to Andale while you read pornographic stories to us in the back seat of Joel's car? Or, on the same trip, when we all dressed up in bed sheets and pretended to have a Roman orgy, while taking hundreds of wildly incriminating photos?

What about that time Joel, you, and I all stopped at the road that ENDED! We just sat there and sat there for what may have been hours, waiting for trucks to finish the road that never came. Joel, after getting really pissed off, eventually threw his keys out the window, and we had to look for them in the mud!

Or what about the time we considered initiating sexual relations of some kind, only to have them cut short by our mutual decisions to, in fact, not have sexual relations?

And then, of course, there was the time we took typing class together as sophomores in high school and I became friends with you. That was when I realized it was possible for me to hold a conversation with a girl at all. You can imagine my surprise.

So you can imagine how difficult it is for me to come up with an adequate fictional thing we did together, when we did so many amazing real things.

Though my favorite one was when you, me, kay, katie, and Jennifer Aniston all had sex with each other on a bed of nails hidden above the spring of eternal youth, which in turn flows into the Tigris river (which means we were in Iraq) back when Baghdad, Iraq was called Dar es Salaam. Oh, what a sunny afternoon that was! All the tea, the monkeys, the homosexual wombats, the kangaroo (kangaroos? what is the plural?), and the watermelon seeds! And then, when stupid Angelina Jolie had to show up with her cave woman lips to ruin it all by suggesting gellatinous oral sex! Whore! We didn't even have any jello! Way to throw it in our face, Angelina!

Yup, that was definitely my favorite fake moment, after all those real ones, of course.